Well... it has been a while. I have missed everyone. I hope everyone missed me as well . Life has been a hectic string of break-ups, freak outs and all manner of hairy crazyness. Yes this crazyness is, in fact, hairy. For those who don't know I am going for my doctorate in the Fall. Goddess give me strength. <oy> Anywho I have missed everyone bunches and bunches so comment dammit! Comment or feel my hairy, smelly, sleep deprived wrath :ebil:.Seriously It is good to be back for a while and I hope to hear from the usual suspects.

P.s I can't change my damn mood... It makes me angry. <throws a smelly boot at the mood button>

This is probably gonna be the last time I log on here. I'm tired... more then tired I'm f-ing sick and tired. People... you don't know me... don't assume that you do. If I am who I am it's not good. If I try and be something I'm not it's not good enough. I flirt and joke... it's a bad thing. I'm not allowed to have a bad day. I express my dislike for something and I'm an evil a-hole hell bent on the destruction of the world. I'm done.

As of this moment I'm taking a hiatus. It might be for a day. It might be for a week. It might be forever. I haven't decided. That's it. I'm just gonna walk away.

So long.

P.s. next time someone has a problem with something someone does or says tell them straight off. Don't let them hear it second, third, or fourth hand. It tends to make people angry.

P.p.s. if someone is acting differently then usual ask them, "hey you okay." Might save some heartache and headache later.

I, Billio-Supremo, being of relatively sound mind, body and spirit (I use the term relatively in the loosest term possible) do here by write this to set the record straight. I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be, in fact if you talk to most people they will confirm that I think of myself as an asshole. This is no mere admission to my faults but also an admission to my general demeanor and character at times. I am at peace with this. If someone can not accept me, faults and all, then they do not need to be around me. I have very few people I consider "friends." This is of my own making and my own choice. Those people who I do consider to be a friend are people I keep very close and who I would, and have (figuratively), take a bullet for (literally). I'm okay with this. To those who think I am cold or distant, I have my reasons, and they should not take it personal. Those who do take it personal I have only this to say, "That's your problem not mine." I am unapologetic about who I am and who I can be at times.
For many years I have tried, in vain as it turns out, to suppress a part of me that has been eating away at my very being. A part that every person has regardless of their own admission to it's existence, their inner darkness. I have known for years that there is a part of me that is not exactly wholesome. The mean, spiteful, vengeful, bitter part of me that I tried to suppress. I found that suppressing such things was only adding to my general malaise of character, God knows that I need no help in that department. As such I have decided instead of suppressing it and trying to be happy for everyone or trying to change myself to suit someone else's fancys all the time while suppressing my feelings and there by adding to that festering bitterness within me I have decided to be myself, everyone else be damned. This may come as a surprise or may anger some of those who read this, and to those people I say T.S. I have found that I am too old to go and remake myself every time someone finds that there is something about me that they do not like or that they feel they need to change.
I have made my fair share of mistakes over the years, and many within the past year. For those mistakes that I have made I apologize, and I have suffered enough. I refuse to dwell on things that will only end up making myself insane in the end. I have learned that there are very few things that are written in stone in this life (those few things I will not go into as they are not pertinent) and to worry about these things will only bring heartache in the end as it is, for the most part, outside of our scope of control. If something is not or was not meant to be then it is not or was not meant to be, that goes with all aspects of life not only the ones that pertain to relationships.
To those who would see my sins flaunted about for the world to see and wave them as you would a banner I only have this to say to you, "Good for you, and I am glad you have so much free time to analyze other people's faults whilst ignoring your own." That goes for ANYONE who does this. To those who read this, take it at face value and assume nothing. I would like to thank my friends and close acquaintances for helping me and keeping me sane over these many years. I know it has not always been easy but I am happy to count you among the best people in my life.

What I am about to say is a very touchy subject. It is a subject many people, as I have seen, are concerned with. That is power. Power is something that almost every person strives for. But there are those who abuse their power or use their powers for ill will (this does not refer to Jonathan Ian Mathers). But I digress. There are people here, meaning on dA, who think they have power. they think that ^ or ~ or = actually mean something. I'm sorry to report that it doesn't mean crap in the real world.

I don't like drama. I hate drama in fact, and I hate it when people take things too seriously or think they have some sort of mystical powers just because their name is preceded by some symbol. Deviant Art is about the free expression of ideas and artwork through a means that is easy to access by most people. This is a site for art not petty drama and b.s. I know quite a few people who think that just because they have a high hat it means that they are Gods. I am sorry to say that these high hats do nothing more then give you a 20% increase in your e-penis.

This sight is supposed to be about fun and being able to express one's self while meeting new people and exchanging ideas with them. These people who decide to bring drama or perpetuate nastiness towards other people are making it hard for others who just want to have a place to relax and talk shop. That said, I am guilty of it. I am not exempt, however the difference is that not only do I realize it but I am also trying to cut down on the bull crap that makes people angry or uncomfortable. What I will say is that it needs to stop.