I, Billio-Supremo, being of relatively sound mind, body and spirit (I use the term relatively in the loosest term possible) do here by write this to set the record straight. I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be, in fact if you talk to most people they will confirm that I think of myself as an asshole. This is no mere admission to my faults but also an admission to my general demeanor and character at times. I am at peace with this. If someone can not accept me, faults and all, then they do not need to be around me. I have very few people I consider "friends." This is of my own making and my own choice. Those people who I do consider to be a friend are people I keep very close and who I would, and have (figuratively), take a bullet for (literally). I'm okay with this. To those who think I am cold or distant, I have my reasons, and they should not take it personal. Those who do take it personal I have only this to say, "That's your problem not mine." I am unapologetic about who I am and who I can be at times.
For many years I have tried, in vain as it turns out, to suppress a part of me that has been eating away at my very being. A part that every person has regardless of their own admission to it's existence, their inner darkness. I have known for years that there is a part of me that is not exactly wholesome. The mean, spiteful, vengeful, bitter part of me that I tried to suppress. I found that suppressing such things was only adding to my general malaise of character, God knows that I need no help in that department. As such I have decided instead of suppressing it and trying to be happy for everyone or trying to change myself to suit someone else's fancys all the time while suppressing my feelings and there by adding to that festering bitterness within me I have decided to be myself, everyone else be damned. This may come as a surprise or may anger some of those who read this, and to those people I say T.S. I have found that I am too old to go and remake myself every time someone finds that there is something about me that they do not like or that they feel they need to change.
I have made my fair share of mistakes over the years, and many within the past year. For those mistakes that I have made I apologize, and I have suffered enough. I refuse to dwell on things that will only end up making myself insane in the end. I have learned that there are very few things that are written in stone in this life (those few things I will not go into as they are not pertinent) and to worry about these things will only bring heartache in the end as it is, for the most part, outside of our scope of control. If something is not or was not meant to be then it is not or was not meant to be, that goes with all aspects of life not only the ones that pertain to relationships.
To those who would see my sins flaunted about for the world to see and wave them as you would a banner I only have this to say to you, "Good for you, and I am glad you have so much free time to analyze other people's faults whilst ignoring your own." That goes for ANYONE who does this. To those who read this, take it at face value and assume nothing. I would like to thank my friends and close acquaintances for helping me and keeping me sane over these many years. I know it has not always been easy but I am happy to count you among the best people in my life.